A sail in a storm

Sometimes it’s neither good or bad, it’s just the way it is. And sometimes the way it is; like it was, is in its own way, spectacularly beautiful.

It’s okay to bottle it all in, sometimes it’s easier that way. But there’s only so much a bottle can hold before it gets too much to handle alone. Put yourself first, everything else follows naturally.


I don’t know what I fell for; the Monday mornings or the late night conversations, the Friday blues or the way your eyes lit up when you smiled. In each and every moment all I knew is that I had. In every moment, when I needed you most, you were there. And I can’t seem to shake the thought of you away, even in my dreams, you’re there. In all the songs and poems I come across, in all the daydreams I try to break free from and all the random moments when everything is fine but it’s not.

The not knowing hurts more than anything. The future is only terrifying because I’m scared of the what if’s. Where does this lead to? Can’t help but wonder what’s the point if all that’s left of me is just a someone behind a screen.
No matter how many pages I can fill, nothing I say or do can change anything. But I don’t know how to say the last goodbye, Maybe its because I don’t ever want to.

One day at a time, keeping the faith,
what's meant to be will be.
I thought I could hide away here, but I’m glad an accidental tap on a star, led you here. How you anchor me back to sanity leaves me speechless.
There’s always a reason for everything, and maybe its okay if right now that is still unclear. The future is terrifying, but whatever is meant to be will be. And I guess, for now, that has to be enough.
I only wish I was more courageous.

"It's now that I realize, that everything that has happened was never a coincidence, but meant to be, and hopefully, there are better days ahead."


It’s 3 am
Yet again
Unable to sleep
Abandoned once again
Of a luxury
To let my mind be at peace
Though only temporarily
Pillows keep me company
The ceiling is boring
And empty
So I stare at the wall
Right above my feet
With all the paintings
Adorned and hung gracefully
Dull and lifelessly
Such a pity
The wind howls
Through the window
I glance at the vacant street
Pitch dark
Like the darkness
creeping inside
As the thoughts linger back
Fears slither in
The flood rushes through
Walls crumbled down
Demons let lose
Nightmares come alive
The past haunting each breath
Until there’s nothing left
To fight against
It is what it is
The tears now dry
Eyes heavy
The mind gives in
And dreams that can never come true
Cradle me away.

Anonymity is just perfect. You can be anyone and everything. No labels, no expectations, no limitations. You can be whomever you chose to be. Say whatever you’ve been aching to let free.

But It’s only perfect until you realize, you can’t be too much yourself. Because it’s not the name that defines you, it’s the choices you make, the person you are within. And no mask you put on can hide that.


But sometimes hiding behind a mask seems easier than feeling vulnerable again. Even if its useless.


How do you know?

How do you know, if you should move on or still hope?
How do you know if you should keep fighting or just let go?
How do you know if it’s even worth it anymore?
Is there a specific point where it all becomes clear. Is there a conversation that answers all the questions. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a checklist or something that dictates, step by step, when to morn and when to move on? Wouldn’t it be easier? I guess it can never be easier.
What if I try to move on and miss out on a love that was mine all along. Or what if I give it my all trying to be with someone, with whom I don’t belong.

Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements.
Even if it leads nowhere.

Poem: An Epitome


Everything was perfect
In that moment, wasn’t it?
When we held hands
And it just seemed right
To our young hearts
Wasn’t that all that mattered?
In a world no bigger,
Than the playground where we met
Your smile as you shied away
Was all I needed to know we’ll be okay.

Everything was perfect
Until we were no longer those carefree kids
The ones that spoke in gestures
Sitting next to each other
Fighting away the butterflies
Cursing time as it flew by.

Everything was perfect
When we walked side by side
And you whispered you’re mine
When everyone else froze in time
And the world was you,
I knew as you looked into my eyes.

Everything was perfect
Until it wasn’t
As the world drifted into two continents
And the distance grew further
Than the ocean that separated

Everything was perfect
Or was it even? I begin to question everything
Because if it was true,
Why didn’t it prevail?

Or maybe the perfection was never intended
Maybe the imperfections are
What keeps it so perfect
What truly makes it all worth it!